Hello Again

So the time to go back to school has come, and a week into my last ever year of school I have already decided that it’d be for the best if the day consisted of approximately 80 hours because there simply isn’t the time in a usual day to do everything that is required of me at this stage in my school career, whilst maintaining a stable sleeping schedule and generally fulfilling the daily tasks of a typical human being….

It is now December, and whilst most of the above still stands largely true, I have decided to finally complete this post. Which is more motivation than I have had in the last 5 months combined. This school year has taken a lot out of me – so much in fact that I haven’t touched a book since the end of August which I know is shameful and I should be totally ashamed. I have not had a worse time in regard to mental health than I am having right now. But I’ve also decided that that shouldn’t be able to prevent me from doing things I like doing.

Medical applications now in, I have also completed all my entry exams, which could have gone better admittedly – but I have also had the time and support to come to terms with the fact that they do not stop me from getting to what I want in life, which is a life full of the ability to help people on a daily basis. That stress being over, I expected my head to feel lighter – and I guess in some ways it does, but not blogging has been weighing me down.

So despite the immense sea of incredibly important exams that is now before me, I am going to try to read one book per week (or fortnight, because sometimes my brain can’t handle much more than too many hours of Netflix or naps).

And I know I’ve promised this before, I’ve promised to come back and read and blog time and time again. But this time I am not going to pressure myself so much – I’ve learned and I’ve come up with solutions to problems which have played a big part in my life in the last few months and this is one of these. Blogging isn’t my chore – it is something that I want to be able to do and come home to relax once in a while. Therefore I cannot promise a steady schedule – for I don’t believe that I will keep to it but I can promise to have something to say more often than once in a good few months.

I am also considering more seriously setting up a separate page about my journey into the medical world on this blog – and whilst I know that it wouldn’t appeal to all of my current audience – I know that you will all be understanding about it. And I hope that perhaps it’d help anyone on the same road as I am currently travelling because admittedly – I am not handling it as well as I thought I would be able to – and it isn’t an easy road at all.

So this is me, and my (grand???) return. I just hope this good-feel spell continues and I will be able to keep to it better this time.

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A Summer Half Gone Update

So I guess this is an update post of sorts, haven’t done one of these in a while.

I missed YALC this year, for those from the land across the pond whom may have no idea what it is (although I am aware that some people make their way here for it) , it’s basically the British equivalent of BEA, but it’s YA galore. So I missed that, mainly because I currently have a lot of dates with trying to persuade myself that it’s not worth giving up on the medicine dream, and trying to study for the upcoming 2 hour hell that I’ve booked to sit on the 18th of September; the hell is called the UKCAT, and is basically the test that most universities look for when distinguishing between candidates… And let me tell you, I do not want to see more circles and squares in my life or Venn diagrams for that matter.

But also because I just didn’t think I would be up for it life and self-wise – I’m generally struggling a wee bit when it comes to motivation, and I think the lack of posts on this blog illustrates that very well. I will, however, try to at least keep the Saturday posts going – I know I missed a weekend, but it was a busy weekend so I hope I’m forgiven.

Book wise, I actually haven’t felt the need to buy books in a while. I think the last title to appear on my shelves was Lord of Shadows which I didn’t even buy for myself… But I did receive City of Circles by Jess Richards courtesy of Hodder & Stoughton/ Sceptre which I’m very much looking forward to reading.

Overall, I can’t say this summer feels much like a summer at all, with various trainings, courses and now regular shifts at a local-ish hospice – I think that’s something I’m going to have to get used to as I transition out of the routine of school and enter “the real world” as some people like to call it.

So yeah,  this blog will not be abandoned – fear not. i'll be back.gif

SO I WENT ON A TOO LONG HIATUS

So this post is an apology of sorts I guess, at one point during the last few months I went through a period of just not wanting to post – I would use the excuse of exams, I really would, but my real AS level exams totalled to a small number of 3; and started and were over with before I even knew it… As for mocks, they did add a bit of stress to the whole ordeal, and they’re not over yet – and yet I’m still writing this post so clearly… I really can’t blame school for my hiatus. shame.gif

At points I wished to have a slightly psychotic nun above me forcing me to do a metaphorical blogging walk of shame, but I didn’t and so  I dragged my absence out a little more than I intended to.

And honestly, at the start of it all I didn’t expect it to last so long, but I’m also not going to lie – at some points I didn’t expect to be returning at all. It seemed as though all the joy was sucked completely out of reading and blogging followed suit. And voilà! It resulted in a very demotivated Ola and no new content on the blog…

 But with time I discovered that I didn’t have to limit myself to the books I had been given to review (and often prioritised over books which I actually wanted to read for my own personal satisfaction, because y’know – logic) and discovered a new genre that it turns out I actually really like reading,  which is not only good because it helped me get back into reading, but because it involves medical and scientific books it will also help me with my chosen career path – so it basically did a very good job at killing two important birds with one stone.

Speaking of medical books and medicine, I might post a review of the books I come across from that genre here and there from now on, and I might start documenting my own journey into the medical world, as long and as complicated it may get – but who knows, maybe someone out there will relate to it, maybe it can help someone. But most importantly, I’d like to have something to look back to.

But of course, I am not about to forget the real reason for which this blog was created, to share my passion for reading – and now to share my journey to refinding and refueling that passion. I did come up with some ideas for an original series of posts that I might do at one point or another which will allow me to get my creative juices flowing – which is also something I’ve greatly missed during my leave.

In basic terms, I want this blog to feel like something that I actually created again, and not something pieced together from posts I was in a way, obliged to do. I think I’m ready to come back to this blogging thing, but this time – it will be on my own terms.

A huge thank you to those who stuck around during my little blunder – I will try my very very best to not disappear without a warning again.

“Per Aspera Ad Astra”

Red Rising, Pierce Brown